BERNIE'S HEALTH / The Dude Says: “Lotta Ins, Lotta Outs, Lotta What-Have-You’s”

BERNIE'S HEALTH / The Dude Says: “Lotta Ins, Lotta Outs, Lotta What-Have-You’s”

By Roshi Eve Myonen Marko

Jan 15th 2016

In the morning Bernie seems rested and not much changed from yesterday. Soon he, Alisa and I are greeted by Mark Keroack, President/CEO of Baystate Hospital, accompanied by senior staff, wanting to make sure Bernie’s getting the quality care he needs. We have no trouble assuring him that his staff and hospital are terrific. After that, terrific specialists examine Bernie’s body-mind, he gets that “too many people” look on his face again and says little. They’re satisfied with his progress, but we feel he may have slid back a little from yesterday.

Afternoon: Nap, lunch, and picture time. Alisa shows him photos of his family of origin: parents, four older sisters, aunts and cousins.Bernie points at each and calls them by name: Edith, Bea, Selma, Sally, my mother (who died when he was 7), my father. He looks at a photo of him surrounded by four adoring sisters who came to part from him when he sailed to Israel in the early 1960s. “Where were you going?” we ask. “Ship,” he replies. He studies each photo carefully, telling tales of his Communist aunts of whom he’s very proud. We follow most of it.

He asks Rami about who’s attending the planning meeting for the Black Hills summer retreat (he and Eve had to cancel).

He begins to tease his nurse. She asks him: “Do you know your name?” “Yes,” he answers, and nothing more. She shakes her head. “Funny man!” Alisa says that soon we should ask you to offer prayers for the nursing staff taking care of Bernie as well as for Bernie. At some point he chats so much, lots of it quite coherent, that we wonder whether it’s really such a good idea for him to learn to talk again.

Other times he subsides into a tired silence, or else the words are too slurred for our ears. The right side of his body is still fairly—well—still. Still no better antidote to expectations than reality.

But when the staff takes him down for an MRI he thanks them with a half-gassho, which we explain is a gesture of respect and appreciation. “I thought he was trying to shake my hand,” the young aide says. “This I like better.”

So much appreciation to all of you for your thoughts, wishes, meditations and prayers. Bernie shares a room with a Cambodian man who’s been there for 2 months with only a grandson who visits him for a brief period each evening, otherwise he’s asleep all day with no family or friends to watch over him. I wish we knew his name, perhaps tomorrow. Please watch over him, too, along with Bernie.



  1. Hi, Eve! This may be a long haul so I hope you pace yourself. Love you and buoy you in my prayers and thoughts. Hugs, Noemi

  2. Ann and Jared : January 17, 2016 at 1:08 am

    Love to Bernie, to the man in the neighboring bed, to the nurses and therapists and doctors and housekeepers. To all of you in attendance of him. To the blessings of stillness, and silence, and words.

  3. Patti Muso Giggans : January 17, 2016 at 1:17 am

    We are sending love & hugs into Berbie’s room at the hospital for him, you all, Rami and the family the doctors & nurses and Cambodian man. All blessing from Reigen and Muso and all of us at ZCLA.❤️

  4. Sending all of you a BIG hug and lots of love in these trying times! May the Force be with you!

  5. My thoughts and prayers remain with you all. With much love, Teiju

  6. Love from the ODs and the Ocean Zendo. Maria Matthiessen especially sends good wishes.

  7. kiyo,yoshie,and owen : January 17, 2016 at 2:58 am

    Eve, all we can do is just sit and pray for him. Hope he gets better soon. And please take care of yourself. Peace to you and Bernie.

  8. May healing & peace prevail.
    Much love from
    Issan Elkin & Jitsudo Ancheta Roshi

  9. […] Roshi Eve Myonen Marko’s follow-up statement of Friday, January 15th, is an account of a visit at Baystate Hospital, during which, “terrific specialists examine Bernie’s body-mind,” and Glassman, though periodically tired and having some difficulty seems to respond well to assessment questions: “At some point he chats so much, lots of it quite coherent, that we wonder whether it’s really such a good idea for him to learn to talk again.” Read the whole statement here. […]

  10. Cynthia Roderick : January 18, 2016 at 5:19 am

    Thinking of you with love…

  11. Brigit Klement : January 18, 2016 at 8:29 am

    Much love, gratitude and respect. Prayers going up

  12. All around the world people are sending good vibes in Bernie’s direction. Love.

  13. Included in our prayers – with you both in heart and mind,

  14. Blessings to Eve and all close to Bernie’s recovery. May it be swift and complete. With much love, Court

  15. Levana Marshall : January 24, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    Into the unknown. not knowing.The fire of endless love, endless intimacy .
    Whatever happens, in that lonely journey, you are both watched lovingly.
    With you all the way, Levana

  16. Burt Wetanson : February 5, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    Dear Bernie,
    Much love and healing wishes to you and all who are
    walking this road with you.

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