THE WOMAN, THE MAN, AND THE SPACE IN BETWEEN

By Eve Marko 

Bernie’s going up the stairs, I pass him walking downstairs, and suddenly hear Phump!Instantly I turn around. “What happened?” “Nothing, I saw this gorgeous woman and I almost fell over.”

My brother gave me a book in Hebrew, teachings by and anecdotes about Rabbi Menachem Fruman, who passed away a few years ago. There is much to relate about Rabbi Fruman, whom we met on a few occasions: a settler rabbi, a lover of the Holy Land who insisted it belonged to God rather than to Jews or Muslims, who cultivated friendships with Muslim religious and political leaders, including the heads of the PLO and Hamas. He also believed deeply in the importance of couples, of intimate relationships. For this reason, whenever he was interviewed by a newspaper photographers liked to photograph him together with his wife, Hadassa. Once he said to the photographer: “Here’s a major scoop for you. You can take a picture of God and bring it back to the paper! Just point the camera here,” and he pointed to the space between him and his wife.

The Zohar, the basic text of Jewish Kabbalah, states that God isn’t to be found in the one person, but rather between two people. There’s myself, there’s my husband, and God is in the middle, in the emptiness between us, never in the one. No, not even in the Great Man. It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve meditated, how many kenshos (enlightenment experiences) and dai-kenshos (great enlightenment experiences) you’ve had, or even what you’ve done for the world. That’s not where God resides.

Often people ask me how my practice has helped me over these past six months since Bernie’s stroke. I think they’re asking the wrong question. The practice isn’t what I do early mornings when I go to my office, light a candle and sit. That’s the easiest, most comfy part of the day. The practice is when I then get up and return to the bedroom to ask Bernie how he’s doing, how he slept. To look again at what happened, his loss of weight, his unsteady but determined walk with cane, the splint on his right hand, the question in his eyes, the question in my eyes: What is this? What is this today?

A verse describes the absolute and the relative as two arrows that meet high in mid-air. Both the GM and I shoot arrows up in the air all the time, only these rarely meet. Sometimes they come close, sometimes one grazes the other sufficiently to cause a slight change in direction, and sometimes they’re ghosts in the night, and as I look at all that space in between I think of what the Zohar says: that’s not just any gap between two people who at times feel like strangers, that’s the abode of God. That empty space you’ve gnashed your teeth over, the one you’ve contemplated with frustration and wished to bridge more than anything in the world—that’s where God resides. So what’s there to cry about? The unknown abides in the very misunderstandings, confusion, and clash of wills and personalities that are part of our life. It’s as cozy as could be in the gap between need and fulfillment, desire and satisfaction. It’s right there in the gap between This is it and I don’t want this, I never wanted this, I wish this didn’t happen.

The one is easy. Sit long enough, hard enough, fast a little, give up the world, and you may get somewhere. Live closely with one human being—just one human being—and there, in the small scowl, the itch of discomfort and anxiety, or looking across a deep, unbridgeable gulf, right there is the true treasure.

 

Photo by Jadina Lilien

Share :

THE WOMAN, THE MAN, AND THE SPACE IN BETWEEN

4 Responses

  1. Women’s Swimwear
    In late 2008 and early 2009, nine people died[14] and at least 714 people in 46 states, half of them children, fell ill due to food poisoning from eating products containing contaminated peanuts,
    according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
    History. The Washington Post reported on February 14, 2009, the view of David Brooks,
    a buyer for a snack company that had visited PCA facilities in the mid 1980s (when PCA was
    under Hugh Parnell’s control), that “everybody in the peanut industry” in the states involved
    (Georgia, Virginia, and Texas) knew of the serious sanitation issues
    associated with PCA; Brooks went on to state that PCA was “a time bomb waiting to go off.”[3].

    cheap swimwear ABF secured average price increases
    of 2.2% from our most price sensitive customers under contract and deferred pricing agreements.
    Over the long term, we need more, but this is a respectable level considering the current LTL marketplace.
    It illustrates that even during a difficult economic environment, many shippers recognize
    the value of a dependable trucking company with a strong financial foundation. cheap swimwear

    dresses sale Lately some companies take pride in how high their stock price is.
    This may have started with Berkshire Hathaway never splitting (Berkshire A
    currently around $326k a share). Some older dividend driven stocks like Ford still like to split to keep the price low for psychological reasons.
    dresses sale

    cheap swimwear This isn’t talked about often, but you want to learn from
    a mentor who also works in a manner that fits your business vision. For
    example, one client shared that she chose to learn from me instead of another internet marketing “mentor” solely because
    he admittedly works 16 hour days and hasn’t taken a vacation in years.
    (Apparently my relaxed and fun work style was a lot more appealing to her.).
    cheap swimwear

    swimwear sale This is a prime example of simply honing the sound we make
    when we sneeze. I’ve heard unedited sneezes sound like death coupled with mucus ripping and a wheeze at a frequency dogs
    start whining. If someone screams they are definitely doing it on purpose and imo because it’s fun.
    swimwear sale

    Cheap Swimsuits TrumpGirlsBreakTheInternet After one of many polls showed Hillary Clinton leading Trump in the women’s vote,
    pro Trump women took to the internet. Many photographed themselves scantily clad with Trump hats
    and paraphernalia under the hashtag TrumpGirlsBreakTheInternet.

    Alicia Starko of Houston, Texas, was one of them. Cheap Swimsuits

    bikini swimsuit I looked at the woman she was pointing at, the woman I had named Marianna.
    She was old, but the way she dressed, I could see she was not ashamed of her breasts, her ass.

    She was proud of them. It can be a double edged sword when investors take control of their own portfolio, and become do it yourselfers in the investing landscape.
    On one hand, it can be incredibly satisfying to “take control of the ship”, enabling you control of your
    financial destiny. On the other hand, it can be quite
    stressful. bikini swimsuit

    wholesale bikinis I can be on a benzodiazepine every day.
    That would not be good. SSRIs don agree with me.
    Some drag racers have open wheels and a single seat; who then to say they
    should be excluded?Personally, I don think of karts as single seaters
    though, even if it is technically accurate.

    Max is simply one of many drivers who have been anointed as great before they
    even finish a single race.I was seriously irritated at the British media
    in 2007 for fawning over Lewis Hamilton that I really disliked the
    guy. It was unfair of me, but I have a serious dislike of
    drivers who are crowned before they race. wholesale bikinis

    one piece swimsuits For saltwater fishing, you almost have to have
    a rod and reel, especially when fishing in the surf or from a
    tall pier or bridge. As far as rods and reels are concerned, the best kids fishing poles are the simplest.

    Try a closed face reel that’s easy to cast by pressing
    the release button. one piece swimsuits

    dresses sale Since then they fallen back onto nothing but adult mobile games
    which obviously sell well for them.I glad I never got
    a job. I used to work in digital marketing, and
    I got quite a bit of stick from friends and family as some of my clients were alcohol brands aimed at the market (so the younger drinkers).
    About 15yrs ago I worked in an agency that wanted to pitch for an oil company, but changed its mind when half the employees
    said they leave dresses sale.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Click Subject for Related Content
Our Journal