A Reflection on~ A Weekly Practice Group on “The Book of Householder Koans”

If you are able to connect into this meeting, I can only say “wouldn’t miss it or the ones to follow for anything”.  The approximately 8-9 individual women and men that spoke along with Roshi Eve and Roshi Egyoku shared deeply from their life experiences with a sharp, candid and profound awareness of “Did I as a parent give enough“.  There were responses with heartfelt guilt as well as humor, as well as “I did the best I could” and “enough is enough“.  This was a 2nd hour that was like sitting down with old long time zen students and having dinner without dancing to music, yet there were a lot of dancing hearts and minds.  I became all the more aware of how some men have given a great amount of love and energy to significantly helping their wives raise their children and also, regrettably, too much of the opposite.  One of the participants voiced “I told my wife for years, I take the kids on Saturdays from 10AM – 2PM and you take care of yourself.” 

One rarely gets the chance to really listen to the life and death challenges of loving and responsibly raising one’s children, including when your child is now an adult, yet your adult child needing to have the same love and emotional needs when they were kids met again and consciously responded to by a parent or parents. It was clarified that this is exceptionally challenging.

What I took away as a gift from this time together is “Just forgive anyone and everyone you feel has used, abused or misused their power and hurt or harmed you”. Individuals actually do the best they can. Finally I can say to my heart-mind, conscious and unconscious mind  “You got it today son. Enough is enough and let go and forgive or hold on and be in pain and suffering. Enough is enough. Enough is really enough and maybe more than enough in a manner of thinking.  Get on with your life and don’t let that habitual mind think you into a stink. Fresh eyes always and full steam ahead, cause if ya miss this moment ya miss yer life.  Enough  Enough  Enough.”  A beautiful mantra to continue being grateful for so many blessings seen and unseen.  


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A Reflection on~ A Weekly Practice Group on “The Book of Householder Koans”

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